Archive for February, 2008|Monthly archive page
Black and White…..
(Under age 40? You won’t understand.) You could hardly see for all the snow, Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go. Pull a chair up to the TV set, “Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet.” Depending on the channel you tuned, You got Andy and Opie – or Ward and June. It felt so good. It felt so right. Life looked better in black and white.
I Love Lucy, The Real McCoy’s, Dennis the Menace, the Cleaver boys, Rawhide, Gunsmoke, Wagon Train, Superman, Jimmy and Lois Lane. Father Knows Best, Patty Duke, Rin Tin Tin and Lassie too, Donna Reed on Thursday night! — Life looked better in black and white.
I wanna go back to black and white. Everything always turned out right. Simple people, simple lives… Good guys always won the fights. Now nothing is the way it seems, In living color on the TV screen. Too many murders, too many fights, I wanna go back to black and white.
In God they trusted, alone in bed, they slept, A promise made was a promise kept. They never cussed or broke their vows. They’d never make the network now. But if I could, I’d rather be In a TV town in ’53. It felt so good. It felt so right. Life looked better in black and white.
I’d trade all the channels on the satellite, If I could just turn back the clock tonight To when everybody knew wrong from right. Life was better in black and white!
Are You Eating Genetically Modified Food?
Yes if you can use the leftover chicken as a nightlight for your kid’s room.
When you check the label and it says that your buffalo chicken wings are made from REAL flying bison…oops! Genetically Modified!!
If an apple a day causes leukemia it’s been genetically modified.
Your family of seven, buys one turkey yet everyone gets a drumstick. That bird is genetically modified.
Are your Ginsu knives afraid of the tomatoes? Then surely the tomatoes have been genetically modified.
The grocery is now selling Cochin. It looks like zucchini, but tastes like a Ding-Dong — that’s definitely a genetically modified food!! Pancake Recipes
A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity.
– Benjamin Disraeli
He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.
– Paul Keating
Battle of the sexes
WIFE V/S HUSBAND: A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.” Famous Quotes
Diets are for women who not only kept their girlish figure but doubled it.
A diet is when you have to go to some length to change your width.
She has discovered the secret of perpetual middle age.
– Oscar Levant
Russian Meat Story
One cold Russian winter in the Soviet era, a rumor went around that a certain butcher shop would have meat for sale the next day. By very early the next morning, a long queue had formed outside of the butcher shop. At 8 o’clock an official came out briefly and announced, “Well, comrades, I’m afraid there’s not enough meat for everybody here. Would all of the Jews leave?”
They did, and the line was shortened somewhat. At 11 o’clock the official came out again and announced, “Well, comrades, I’m afraid there’s still not enough meat for all. Would all of the non-party members please leave?”
They did, and the line was shortened again. At 2 o’clock, the official came out again. “There’s still not enough meat for all of you! Would all those who did not defend our great country from the fascist German intruder leave?”
Once again, the line was considerably shortened. At 5 o’clock, the official announcement was, “There’s still not enough! Would all those who did not participate in the liberation of our people from the terrors of the Czar leave!” This included just about everybody.
Finally, at 8 o’clock in the evening, the official came out again. The only people left in line were three half frozen old men. He told them, “There isn’t any meat.” The old men moved slowly away, grumbling among themselves “Those Jews get the best of everything!!” Henny Youngman Quotes
Mark Twain Quotes