Archive for January, 2009|Monthly archive page
Funny Jokes – PREPARING A TURKEY
Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, or JD
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another two drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16: Floor the turkey up off the pick
Step 17: Turk the carvey
Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a
glass of turkey
Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out
Answering Machine Messages
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money.
Seen on a Bumper Sticker:
You’re driving a car. It isn’t a telephone booth, a beauty parlor or a restaurant.
- If my wife had married my brother-in-law, my sister and I would both be happy.
- Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits, and then complain that he’s not the same man she married?
- Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the ‘Y’ becomes silent.
- A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn’t understand two things: 1 – Women, 2 – Fractions.