Archive for July, 2007|Monthly archive page

WHAT TIME IS IT?

TIME
A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city’s major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place.

“Yes?”

“Excuse me, sir,” the jogger said, “do you have the time?”

The man looked at the car clock and answered, “8:15”. The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger.

“Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?”

“8:25!”

The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying, “I do not know the time!”

Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window.

“Sir, sir? It’s 8:45!”

Sayings

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Professions

The teacher in Johnny’s school asked the class what their parents did
for a living.

“Mary, what does your parents do?”

Lil’ Mary replied “My dad is a lawyer and my mummy is a nurse.”

“That’s very nice,” said the teacher, “Robert, what do your parents
do?”

Robert proudly exclaimed ,”My dad is a policeman and my mom is a
teacher!”

“That’s very nice,” said the teacher , “Johnny, what do your parents
do?”

He stood up and pronounced,  “I don’t know my dad and my mom’s a
hooker.”

Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal’s
office. Fifteen minutes later, he returned.

“Did you tell the principal what you said in class?” asked the teacher.

Johnny: “Yes, he said that in our economy every job is important,  gave
me an apple and asked for my address and phone number.”

Funny Jokes – A Home-Cooked Meal

A Home-Cooked Meal

When the power failed at the elementary school, the cook couldn’t serve a hot meal in the cafeteria, so at the last minute she whipped up great stacks of peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches.

As one little boy filled his plate, he said,

“It’s about time. At last — A Home-Cooked Meal!