Archive for January, 2008|Monthly archive page

Wine

“Water to Wine”

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in

Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then

sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, “Sir, have you been

drinking?” “Just water,” sa! ys the priest. The trooper says, “Then why do I

smell wine?” The priest looks at the bottle and says, “Good Lord! He’s done it

again!”

Jump Start

Jump Start

About five years ago, the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time, so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand in starting the car.

I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 30 MPH for it to start. She said fine, hopped into her car, and drove off.

I sat there fuming, wondering what she could be doing. A minute passed by, and when I saw her in the rear view mirror coming at me at about 40 MPH, I realized that I should have been a bit more clear with my directions!