New Definition

The Washington Post’s Style Invitational once again asked readers to take

any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,subtracting, or changing

one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year’s winners.

1 – Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding a stupid person that stops

bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little

sign of breaking down in the near future.

2 – Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of

getting laid.

3 – Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the

subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4 – Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5 – Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the

person who doesn’t get it.

6 – Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7 – Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

8 – Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9 – Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these

really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like,

a serious bummer.

10- Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day

consuming only things that are good for you.

11- Glibido: All talk and no action.

12- Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when

they come at you rapidly.

13- Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after

you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

14- Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your

bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15- Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in

the fruit you’re eating.


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