Archive for May, 2008|Monthly archive page

Funny Jokes

Grounded

John had spent a week visiting with his brother Pete and Pete’s family. They had accompanied John to the airport for his flight back home. After verifying his seat number, John rejoined Pete and the kids and explained he’d have to wait an additional two hours.

“Why do you have to wait?”

“My plane’s been grounded.”

“Grounded?” one of Pete’s kids said puzzled. “I didn’t know planes had parents.”

Quotes Sayings Phrases

Funny Quotes – Insults

Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.

Christmas Jokes

Funny Jokes – Silly Jokes

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. “I’ll go into town for a doctor,” the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. “I can’t leave,” the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground.” The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?” the victim asks. “He says you’re gonna die.”

Bill Austin

Funny Jokes

Never play strip poker with a nudist, they have nothing to lose.

Recipes

Funny Jokes

Life

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming — WOW — What A Ride!

Famous Quotes

Funny Quotes – Insults

Like the little man on top of the wedding cake.
– Harold Ickes

Funny Jokes

Funny Quotes – Insults

She not only expects the worst, but makes the worst of it when it happens.
– Michael Arlen

Joke of the Day

Funny Jokes

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, He’s a doctor.’ A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, She’s dead.”

Famous Quotes