– Husbands: Only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her way, and the other is to let her have it.
– Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
– Any married man should forget his mistakes – no use in two people remembering the same thing.
– I’ve made three notable mistakes in my life. Marrying and divorcing two women and proposing to a third.