Archive for the ‘Halloween’ Category

Skeleton Jokes – Jokes about Skeletons – Halloween Jokes

Skeleton Jokes – Jokes about Skeletons – Halloween Jokes

Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

Q. Who was the most famous skeleton detective? A. Sherlock Bones.

Q. What do the skeletons say be for eating? A. Bone appetite

Q. Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party? A. He had no body to dance with.

Q. What do you give a skeleton for valentine’s day? A. Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.

Q. Why did the skeleton cross the road? A. To go to the body shop.

Q. Who was the most famous French skeleton? A. Napoleon bone-apart

Q. Why did the skeleton go disco dancing? A. to see the boogy man.

Q. What instrument do skeletons play? A: Trom-BONE.

Q: Why did’t the skeleton cross the road? A: He had no guts.

Q. What kind of key does a skeleton use? A. A skeleton key.

Q. Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? A. He didn’t have the guts.

Q. Why do skeletons drink milk? A. To help their bones!

Q. What is a Skeleton’s favorite song. A. Bad to the Bone

Q. What’s a skeletons favorite part of the house? A. the living room

Q. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the halloween party? A. Becuse he had no body to go with.

Halloween Jokes – Funny Jokes – Vampire Jokes

Halloween Jokes – Funny Jokes – Vampire Jokes

Q. Why did the vampire need mouthwash? A. Because he had bat breath.

Q. What’s a Vampire’s least favorite song? A. Another one bites the dust!

Q. How did the ghost say goodbye to the vampire? A. So long sucker!

Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with the internet? A. blood-thirsty hacker baby

Q. Where do vampires keep their money? A: The blood bank!!!

Q. Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal? Q. He heard it had great circulation.

Q. Why was the girl afraid of the vampire? A. He was all bite and no bark.

Q. What is a vampires least favorite food? A.Steak

Q. What happens when two vampires meet? A. It was love at first bite!

Q. What did the skeleton say to the vampire? A. You suck.

Q. What is a vampires favorite holiday? A. Fangsgiving

Q. How does a girl vampire flirt? A. She bats her eyes.

Q. Which building does Dracula visit in New York? A. The Vampire State Building.

Q. Why do vampires scare people? A. They are bored to death!

Q. How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? A. Every night he turns into a bat.

Q. What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? A. It’s a pain in the neck.

Q. How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? A. All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

Q. What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A. A grave problem.

Q. Why are vampires like false teeth? A. They all come out at night.

Q. What type of dog does every vampire have? A. Bloodhound!
Q. What did the vampire say after reading Halloween jokes? A. They suck!

Halloween Jokes – Funny Jokes – Geriatric Halloween

Halloween Jokes – Geriatric Halloween
EIGHT SIGNS YOU ARE TOO OLD TO BE TRICK OR TREATING

8. You get winded from knocking on the door.

7. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

6. You ask for high fiber candy only.

5. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance
and fall over.

4. People say, “Great Keith Richards mask!” and you’re not wearing a
mask.

3. When the door opens you yell, “Trick or…” and can’t remember the
rest.

2. You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your
hairpiece.

1. You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

Joke of the Day